Thanks, Mom!

Ok so I don't want this blog to always be super sappy and depressing...but I want to write a little tribute to my mom.

This time of year always reminds me of her. Easter of 2003 was the last holiday we spent together where she was well. By Mother's Day of that year she was already hospitalized and beginning chemotherapy. She spent 9 long months battling Leukemia. The Lord decided to take her home on December 16, 2003.

A good friend recently asked me if Mother's Day is hard for me. The answer is not really. I think of her on that day but Mother's Day has morphed into a day where I appreciate and think about my own two little boys. The times that are hard for me when I miss her dearly are my major life changes.

When I had Oliver and Basil, I missed her terribly. It would have been so nice to have her around. To talk about things, seeing if what I am feeling as a new mom was normal. There are so many times since having kids that I wish I could pick up the phone and ask her how to deal with a certain situation. She was a very wise woman and a strong believer in Christ. She would have been such an encouragement.

As Mark and I begin to raise our boys, their spirituality is of utmost importance to us. We want our marriage to reflect the gospel to them. We pray for them. We have started having a family worship time where we read a Bible story, sing some songs and pray. It is really short because of Oliver's attention span. :)

We have A LOT of room to grow in this area. We really want our family life and marriage to point our boys to Christ. We are humbled by this position and need the Lord's strength and wisdom to do this. It is a huge calling to be a parent and daily I feel inadequate for this role.

Looking back on my life growing up I now see the many ways that my mom strived to point me to Christ. Starting as a really young kid, she took my sister and me to church. Supposedly we fought her on this but she insisted and we went. My mom prayed with me daily. She taught me truth. She told me about Jesus and his saving grace. She labored in prayer for me and my sister's salvation. She had the joy of seeing me and my sister believe in Jesus as our Savior.

She didn't stop there....she talked with me about my life. She got to know my friends. She wouldn't let me do certain things...not to stop me from having fun but to protect me. She and my dad made so many sacrifices so that my sister and i could go to a Christian school and a Christian college. Until I left for college my mom prayed with me nightly. My mom stuck Bible verses in my lunch bag. She talked with me about Jesus. She told me what He has done in her life. She did family devotions with my sister and me. It was a good night when my mom could get through her prayer without my sister and I giggling.

When she died my dad passed on a letter that my mom wrote to me when I was probably like 2 or 3. The letter was to be given to me if she died before I was out on my own. In the letter she pleads with me to above everything else in this life to first and foremost seek the Lord. She encourages me to never fear because the Lord is always with me. She wrote this letter to tell me about the saving grace of Jesus. She wanted to make sure that even if she died that still she would have the opportunity to share the gospel with me. Awesome!

The life she lived is one that I long to emulate. She was an incredible woman of faith. Her faith was so real and clear when she was in the hospital with Leukemia. She was different and the hospital staff picked up on that. I am convinced that they saw Jesus in her. According to so many of the doctors and nurses, she was so different than many of the other patients. She had a peace in the midst of dying that could only come from the Lord.

The day we found out she was going to die, at least 25 hospital staff came to say goodbye to her. She was in the ICU and I am not sure if she heard any of the goodbyes or the weeping of the nurses, but she left her mark on them. Jesus was shared with those people through her life. Doctors and nurses came to her memorial service.

Tonight after I read some books to sweet little Basil bug I sang some old hymns and rocked him. I got choked up wishing that my mom could have met my boys. She would have LOVED them and they would have LOVED her. When she was really sick she told me that she prayed that she would live long enough to see her daughters married. That prayer was answered. Brooke was married in 2001 and I was married in 2002. I pray for the souls of the boys. Lord willing one day they will meet my mom.

Mom, thank you! Thank you for praying for me, for sharing Christ with me. Because of this I will see you one day behind the pearly gates and give you the hug that will make up for all these lost years. Love you Mom!