Last night Oliver came down with a fever, a cough and a strange rash on his butt. I kind of got panicky inside and called the doctor. She reassured me that it is probably no big deal but that I should bring him in this morning. So I took him into the doctor this AM and sure enough he has bronchitis and rectal strep. Who the heck ever heard of rectal strep? so stinkin weird.
After I got off the phone with the doctor Mark and I decided to catch up on some online Grey's Anatomy. Of course, this week a little child was dying. It is pretty much unbearable for me to watch a show where a child is dying. I just cannot even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. Needless to say since little stinkerdoodle Oliver was laying up in bed with a fever it got me thinking....
At some point my kids will die. I pray that they outlive me. I never want to go through the horror of losing one of them. Then I started to think that having more kids seems like an absolutely crazy idea. If I have another baby at some point I am opening myself up to possibly losing something so precious to me. I already have two little boys....why bring another child into this world when there is the possibility of losing that child.
So this is where my mind went to last night while watching Grey's Anatomy. Crazy I know. I then thought about how my Nana went through the pain of seeing my mom (her daughter) die. Terrible things happen. I know this firsthand.
What does all of this boil down to? Children are a blessing and gift from the Lord. Death is a consequence of the fall of man, but when we know Jesus, death is not the end. It is simply the beginning. "O death, where is your victory?...where is your sting?"
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So, does that mean that you've decided to have another child? :)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blog, elise! Sorry about Oliver's sickness. It's so hard to see our kids sick, isn't it?
I, like you, cannot imagine losing my children before I die. However, lately I've also feared of dying early, before I've seen my children grow up. I don't want them to have to live without a mother like both me and my husband have. Life just isn't fair -- except that we'll all be together in heaven hopefully!
Love,
Amanda (Sagastume)